Medway Maritime Moment

(i)

Nervousness made me fumble my timing and I ended up sitting for an hour outside of the hospital.

I found a bench with a hedge behind to park my nerves on.

Facing a roundabout, cars coming in and out. Mirroring the souls inside the large building behind me.

I haven’t laid eyes on it yet but I’m aware of its looming presence.

I sit and breathe and try to change my relationship with the bricks here.

I’m not scared of the mortar, or even the morgue.

I’m scared of my own body.

I’m scared that it is here and I am not, and I am missing moments.

I have missed many moments before.

An ambulance drives by with bright bricks of colour on the side.

My stomach doesn’t churn anymore.

(ii)

My mind is on the trees around me,

their roots reaching down like veins in my wrists.

The leaves greeting the sun like my palms waving at a friend.

The trunk strong and reaching tall like my ambitions, I look around and see taller trees than me but that’s okay there’s enough sun for us all.

The grass growing luminous green in September, reminds me it’s never too late to start again.

New shoots of appreciation can grow everyday if we water them.

And if we can’t water them the rain will always come.

The rain will come in a moment.

(2024)